I find myself ending one chapter and beginning a new. Looking back, I find I have grown and change in monumental ways from when I first started my university career. I know my outlook has changed drastically, and I find myself looking at things from another view. Maybe it's from my influence in school, from words profs have said, from books I've read, or places I have been. When I take the time to look at it though, it's from being an observer.
There was a recent phenomenon with "The Perks of Being a Wallflower" movie. I had read the book years before and with the movie, to be honest, I have never thought once about watching it. Schools embraced the novel once the film version popularized it, and mainly due to the attraction it had to students, easing the process of encouraging literature to both genders - but enough of my bED influence coming through.
I would not classify myself as a wall flower. I think that wallflowers never take the time to speak up, that's how I view it anyways. But I would say I'm a watcher. I admit when the crowd gets going, I'll chirp in right away but I think this happens to a lot of people - you get involved and find yourself agreeing to things because it is what the majority is doing, but deep down, it's not really what you think or how you feel on that topic. To be honest, I don't think this is all a bad thing, it lets you relate to people and shows you're able to reflect, but it can definitely get you in trouble. I think though, it helps me. When everything has cooled down, I find myself confining to people I know will listen and understand, and not necessarily agree. I can look bac on what happened and figure out what I really think on the topic, why people were so passionate about the subject, etc. I don't know. For instance, I'm sure I'll look back on this and change what I said or what I mean, but I love being an observer. It lets me absorb the world around and appreciate the people I have in my life, whether I speak out constantly or keep it within. Maybe you've felt the same, or maybe you'll take the time to think about what you do, or how you think, or maybe not. Either way, I think I'm finally figuring out who I am and my strengths and weaknesses, and any step, is a good step, right?
Regardless, I hope you found happiness today, love for tomorrow and peace for now
Keep smiling,
MJ
